How stress causes trouble in relationships

Stress affects individuals causing dysfunctional behaviours as well as many sorts of emotional and physical symptoms. Stress also affects couples in similar ways. The manifestations of stress can be more difficult to identify for couples relative to individuals. This is because in couples those manifestations are often wrongly attributed to external causes. Often couples cannot identify the real sources of stress and they look around them seeking for motives for their inner and increasing discomfort. Usually not looking inside themselves and their own inner circumstances.

I am a function of my circumstances.

So the stressing circumstances you are living may shape your own life and your relationship as well, and many times you may not notice what is really going on.

The purpose of this note is to help you identify symptoms of stress that may be affecting your relationship.

There are issues that can act as triggers for stress in couples: financial difficulties, work related tensions, the in-laws, interpersonal tensions are common ones. Sometimes one brings stress to the relationship, and sometimes both bring stress to the relationship.These issues result in higher anxiety which can manifest physically and emotionally. There are differences on how each one and how much each manifests the effects of stress.

It could be a combination of irritability, attention and-or concentration difficulties, memory loss, mood swings, insomnia, nightmares, palpitations, muscular tension (facial, neck, hands are frequent), muscular pains, sweating, digestive distress, bager rage, just to mention just some of the many possible stress symptoms.

The combination of the new problems and symptoms could lead to physical distance between the couple, reduce sexual encounters, libido diminishing, and loss of passion. The different kind of symptoms are really often confused as coming from physical causes and not coming from psychological stress produced symptoms. Of course at this point communication is not working and it is even avoided.

When this tension arises each of them may wonder if the relationship can get back to normal. How to get out from this problems? Which is the best approach?

Some couples give up and the relationship ends. Others may identify the sources of stress, and notice that changes in their life style can have an effect in reducing dysfunctional behaviours. One alternative to determine whether stress is the cause of the couples dysfunctions is to rely on professional clinical counsellors. These professionals often help you know yourself and your partner better, and therefore you become better prepared to identify if stress is the reason for your problems.
In any case, with or without a counsellor, remember how your original relationship was like, discuss what has changed in your lives, try the best you can to keep patterns of open communication, and see if failures in communication is a part of the dysfunctional behaviour.

The main message I want to give you is seek to know your couple as much as you seek to know yourself, and keep a critical mindset to assess the health of your relationship.
Until next time!